Inappropriate metaphor of the year award

According to a story in this morning’s New York Times, there’s controversy at Bryan College in Tennessee over a new addition to the college’s Statement of Belief, which new professors must sign as condition of employment.

“The origin of man was by fiat of God,” the original says – but now a new clause has been added to the effect that Adam and Eve “are historical persons created by God in a special formative act, and not from previously existing life-forms.”

Many students and faculty have protested the change, but the college President, Stephen D. Livesay, defends it. In fact he says:

“This is something that’s important to us. It’s in our DNA.”

No no no no no, Dr. Livesay. You see …

Oh, where to begin?